by Doug Nash
Answering machines are now a fact of life in this modern, busy lifestyle we
live. How many times do people call and not leave a message or you have to listen to the
usual boring message `we are not here so please a message after the beep'. Wouldn't it be
great to hear or have something new or funny on the answering machine? Why can't it be
Well, it can and you can raise funds while doing something about it! Record
funny messages for people, relieve them of the hassle of doing it themselves. Help them to
have a unique message. This is a real fun way to raise funds for you project or group.
Clients supply a blank tape and a fee is charged for the recording. To help
clients decide what they want either show them printouts of previous tapes, play a
recording of previous tapes or show them new ideas.
The beauty of this fund-raiser is you can create repeat business on a regular
basis as people like to change their messages from time to time. If you do a good job at
the beginning, then people will come back again and again. You will also find that others
who listen to your message will contact you for their own original message.
All you need is to be able to write humorous or original answering machine
messages.Have someone impersonate famous peoples' voices. Below are a some alternatives to
get you started:
If you have a multicultural base, have your members record their traditional
greetings in their traditional dialect.
||Sing the message....
Roses are red , Violets
I would really like to hear a message from you
||Your dime , my time.....don't waste either
||Hello, if you are not a interesting person with something
important to say, please do not leave a message.
||Try a joke....
Hey what do you call a good
looking Aussie? A tourist....hello....hello....if you are still there please leave your
||Welcome to the schizoid help line,
if you feel
that that you are a nobody please press 0
if you are feeling all alone please press 1
if you have a split personality please press 2
if you have multiple personalities please press 3,4 5, or 6
if you are totally paranoid, don't bother leaving a message we know who you are, why you
called and where you live.....
||Thanks for your call but I already know.....
||Don't bother coming in tomorrow. You're fired
||Try a witty quote like:'No matter who I vote for, a politician
always wins' or 'I moved to the country to get away from it all, so why did I bring my
||Just when you thought that it was safe to dial this number...The
answering machine is on! Yes, the answering machine is on! Ready to devour your name,
phone number, and the reason why you called! Oh, no! Look out! Here comes the
||I may or may not be here at the moment, my shrink has yet to make
a decision so please leave a message for when he/she lets me know.
||Hello.... Hello.....Hello..... Are you there? Speak up please...
pause ....Gotchhhaaaa. Please leave a message at the tone.
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About the Author:
Doug Nash lives in Logan City in Queensland, Australia. He has graciously consented to share a fundraising idea with us every month. Although many of the ideas aren't new, each of them has a unique flair that comes from being developed and refined half a world away from ours.
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